Feel free to comment below on any of the topics from the September meeting:
1) “I hit my husband!”
2) Getting external validation or proof of my past
3) How I feel when I’m shifted (and am aware of it)
4) Who do I tell about myself? And how much should I say?
5) Spontaneous integration or blending
6) Dealing with others’ denial, especially people significant to me
3) How I feel when I’m shifted (and am aware of it)
this one kind of made me laugh when i read it just now, because i think there’s always someone in my system who is kind of aware of someone else being present, and it not being them, so i guess that, collectively, we’re *always* shifted and aware of it.
so i guess that just feels normal. or maybe it feels weird. i guess it varies. because i guess sometimes, it’s a problem, and sometimes not. it depends on whether or not the person who isn’t in charge agrees with what the one who is in charge is doing, and that has a big range.
as for what we tell about ourselves… i guess at this stage, it’s mostly about what’s pertinent to a situation. i guess that’s how it’s always been. we don’t go out of our way to hide it, but we don’t go out of our way to mention it to people who don’t need to know. like, for instance, our landlord doesn’t need to know i’m multiple. but i don’t hide that i have toys and play with them. young or really noticeable parts don’t usually talk directly to people who don’t know they’re there, except if they pretend to be a grown up. but younger parts don’t try to hide too much.
i dunno. just wanted to say a couple of things so the post wouldn’t be lonely. it’s kind of sad that people haven’t been writing much here.
I know. I wish more people wrote in here. But I guess people do what they need and how, and maybe they have other places for that.
#3 – when I’m shifted and am aware of it, I feel like I’m watching myself do things. I hear my voice and it doesn’t sound like mine, yet I can’t control it or change it. I feel and see how I move when say a younger one is out – and will feel kind of silly because of how I’m acting or being, but again I can’t control it. I’m aware that this is my body, yet I can’t control it. Someone else has the wheel and I’m along for the ride. It can be embarrassing and make me feel well, out of control. In some ways it’s easier when I’m not aware – because then I don’t have to feel shame.
I’ve gotten less – ashamed feeling though. More able to go “who cares”. For the most part I don’t shift in places that I shouldn’t at this point – where say people at work would flip out and take me to a psych ward right away. My alters seem to know when it’s ok and when it’s not. And when they do show up at the wrong time – I can feel it coming and try to get out to my truck as soon as I can – or away. I’ve been pretty successful at that. Sometimes not.
Hey
hey!! how’s it going?