How do you handle alters coming out at the wrong times, such as at work?
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
How do you handle alters coming out at the wrong times, such as at work?
I can usually feel a change coming – like getting an aura or something. Back when I was less stable, I used to squirm my way out of the workplace asap when I felt it coming. “I don’t feel well”…. “I gotta go”…
For the most part, I function well when I’m at work. Like the second I walk in the door I’m “there”. It tends to be harder to GET to work than it is once I’m there.
Amazingly, I’ve done pretty well with working, even if there were years that it was all I could do to manage to appear sane during work hours. I’m thankful it’s not too much of a battle now. I think my aliens know that they would suffer if they came out too. So they just don’t when I’m at work.
for me, it’s less about the little kids popping out than about the teenagers. the little kids tend to be more shy, and less likely to show up where they shouldn’t.
i suppose the main thing with my system is that we are rarely out on our own, and the little kids are almost never out on their own unless the older ones keeping an eye on things feels like it’s a good idea. so while whoever is trying to maintain control might get a vicious headache, that’s about the extent of it.
for us, a bigger issue has been getting comfortable with the idea of younger part having times when it’s actually appropriate for them to be out. looking back, i think that used to be how i was, before i knew about being multiple. and i’ve gotten more comfortable with that happening now, and it’s really been ok. the little kids aren’t really obvious, unless someone knows them already, but they can often be out even at times that i might have deemed “inappropriate” in the past.
but then, most of my parts have enough sense of decorum that they aren’t going to do things that really upset people outside, so that works in my favor.
Are you kidding, ive come to depend on one of mine being with me atwork, she gives me an empathy that i condusive to what i do. She makes me a better employee than i would have been alone.
it probably depends on each system/person. for us – we mostly have child alters. our “host” (kinda hate that term) is the main person who is out and does work and interfaces with the world. pretty much all the rest of us are young. well -there’s me – and I’m an adult, but I hate talking and am very …. idk – i just can’t be all social and out there like “c” can. so then that leaves one other adult who is like a fuge state – who could no way do anything as stable as working. and then one teen. the rest are kids.
though i gotta say – some of the younger ones seem to have matured and can help more with the creative aspects of her work. and hey, when she’s teaching little tots how to tumble, she asks our young ones to help set up and think of fun things that the little tots (external) would like.
so – i guess all the rest of us are starting to help more at various times. im happiest at her work when she’s doing quiet computer work. maybe i could help even more with that. plus the quiet creative stuff – i could do more of that. i mean, i am an artist. the depressed artist type. hmm
one thing we’ve learned is that if a switch happens all of a sudden, it’s probably because whoever was in front wasn’t listening to the parts inside trying to express something. or something like that. i know there’ve been times when a part will show up all of a sudden as a protective thing, or because they need something, or stuff like that. so the more we can listen, the better we’re able to manage that.
it sounds all healthy and stuff, but sometimes, it’s that some part needs to throw a wrench in the works or something and make things STOP working for a while. and that pisses off parts who like everything smooth, but it’s probably for the best in the long run.
once parts get confident they aren’t going to be ignored, in my system they are more likely to be reasonable about stuff. but if they think no one is listening or they think there is a serious problem someone isn’t going to fix, they will make a fuss.