How do you feel about telling others about your DID? If you have told others, how did it go?
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
How do you feel about telling others about your DID? If you have told others, how did it go?
our host has told two exes when she was with them. both reacted badly.
the first was our fiance at the time. he looked at us in shock, then told us it was impossible. the second was a boyfriend, one that she loved so much that she is still not past the breakup. he told us we were crazy.
i have several friends on the internet who know about it, but none of them know us offline.
aww ash that makes me sad to hear. It’s not fair.
I didn’t really ever have to tell my partner because I didn’t even know I had DID until after we were married. And by the time it was clear that’s what was going on, it wasn’t shocking to him at all. Instead it made things make more sense. He hasn’t left me because of it and is a really good guy. If anything, I’ve been the one who’s wanted to leave at times.
Haven’t really told too many “normal” people that I have it. I usually hide it instead. If I have to explain something I tell them I have PTSD (which I do), and can explain most things that way. Or – if real shifting occurs and another person actually experiences being with me like that – then I might explain it to them more later – because then they’re actually more open to hearing about it.
In my experience – no one really believes it, unless they see it. Doctors, therapists, friends, family – even if they’ve heard of it, they don’t really believe it until they experience it with me/us.
I still have a hard time believing it!
We lived with my mother in law for 2 years before letting her meet one of my people for real. It was getting harder and harder to hide in the same house with someone so my therapist helped us meet her. And my mother in law was in shock when she actually met one of my insiders. She’d heard about them, but never really had her own experience with them. Again, it wasn’t till meeting them that she really believed it.
i’ve been open about being multiple with lots of people, and it’s actually worked out pretty well for me overall. i think it makes a difference that most of the people i’ve told had known me for at least a few years, if not longer, before i told them. so when i told them, i could kind of see things go “click” for them, and they were more able to understand things like how i would go from loving something one day to hating it the next (and we’re talking ice cream flavors here, not just stuff someone might try to deny feeling).
a big part of why i told people is that most of my friends are familiar with things like ptsd and depression, and they just couldn’t get why i wasn’t acting like the other people they knew who have ptsd or depression. particularly depression, because even at my most depressed, there are still parts who aren’t feeling that way, and they still come out, particularly if it’s needed for something social.
and i told my partner to tell people in her family and her support system, just so she didn’t have to feel like she was hiding what was happening.
some friends were kind of annoying about it, minimizing, that kind of thing. and a few people were a little weirded out for a while. but eventually, it feels like it’s not a big issue. people i spend time with know i’m multiple, and with most of them, i’ve gotten comfortable with different parts being out. i don’t make a big deal out of it, but if (for instance) we’re camping and the littles want to make marshmallows, they come out and do it, and chat or whatever. and it’s ok.
one thing that i really appreciate is the comfort level where if someone says that i said something, and i don’t remember, they’ll often just say something like “well, *someone* said that.” no big issue, and i haven’t felt like it’s been used against me. (usually, it’s about what i want from the grocery store or something, not about major stuff. generally my system alerts everyone if we agree to something major!)
that said, i’m definitely not out to everyone. and even more definitely not out to my family. i’m starting to think there are maybe some of them who would get it, but i tend to think of my family as kind of a single unit, so i don’t trust that anything i say to one person won’t go back to everyone else, and that doesn’t feel safe.
but i’m starting to think a little differently about that. not enough to tell anyone in my family, but still….