When others get defensive with you, how do you handle it? Or, what happens to you? Or, how does others’ defensiveness make you feel?
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
when people get defensive when i say they hurt me it makes me feel like im back with my family cause they would always deny they had done something that hurt me or they would say i shouldnt feel hurt by it. they would make it be about me doing something stupid or bad or too sensitive instead of them messing up.
they would even yell at me if something that wasnt their fault hurt me. like one time i when i was eleven i was cooking gravy and the grease splattered and burned my hand and i got in trouble for dropping the spatula and crying out because my mom said it wasnt that painful to get burned by grease and i shouldnt have yelled or dropped the spatula. so it wasnt even something my mom did that made me get hurt but its like i wasnt allowed to express that something was painful.
its worse when i say something someone did hurt me. if one of the younger kids hurt me then the grown ups would say that it couldnt possibly have hurt because they were smaller than me. but it really does hurt when someone does something even if theyre smaller. or if a grown up did something they would never admit it wasnt ok. or if they said something hurtful and my feelings got hurt then they would say that i was just too sensitive or they didnt mean it.
so when someone gets defensive now that is the kind of stuff i remember and it makes me feel like im back with my family. so then i dont trust the person who is being defensive like that because i think they are like my family and that means they will probably hurt me like my family did.