When you ignore your parts, how do they get your attention?
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
When you ignore your parts, how do they get your attention?
Well, many times – I get hit with what seems to be a panic attack – which turns into disabled physical function – which turns into shifting. So to me – it pretty much feels like my aliens come out – throw me down to the ground, and start rattling my body and mind. And I am powerless to stop it.
Sometimes – I get lots of pressure in my head – headaches. And it becomes clear that it’s about someone wanting to surface. I’ll start to hear voices in my head and feel strong compulsions to do various things. So strong that I shift and whoever wanted to do those things, eventually does them.
Sometimes it’s just lots of noise in my head – talking – yelling – crying, etc. Sometimes I’ll dream more, have strong dreams of crazy things. Sometimes I’ll see images or flashes in the middle of my day when i’m just trying to live my life (and pretending I don’t have DID).
well, there’s communication, and then there’s the response to being ignored. when ignored, lots of parts will give whoever is in front a major headache. it’s like a migraine, except that it goes away if one can manage to communicate with the part causing it. and it won’t go away with migraine meds.
there are some things that i think are more communication, although it’s communication that we don’t necessarily know how to do. like talking to someone you don’t understand, only not talking so much as communicating. the little kids particularly will cause this feeling behind the eyes that is like you want to cry, only you’re not sad… hard to explain.
other parts will cause a ringing in the ears.
a lot of the time, there’s this anxiety that comes up, again, hard to describe because it’s not a panic attack or focused anxiety, just that feeling…
and there are times when i can tell i’m going to switch, or that another part is also present, like when my vision goes wonky. i’ve found that most of the time when i have double vision, it’s because someone else is also out, and it’s like my brain can’t process the visual signals correctly or something.
and there are parts who will just be out at the same time, and go ahead and do what they were going to do, but i didn’t know they were there until they started doing it.
a lot of the time if there is another part out it’s also hard to type well, because it’s like my fingers aren’t quite getting the right signals. but those aren’t necessarily attempts at communication, just evidence that there is someone else there.
I don’t know, we don’t usually talk to each other unless there’s a pressing matter in the ‘real world’, and then it’s generally for instruction, although I’ve started to field questions back consciously and get answers, but only when needed, otherwise I dunno if I’m getting ignored or if I’m deliberately not listening, like trying but only half-assed. Not all the answers received are right, but it usually works pretty well when I remember to try. I don’t think I ignore most of ’em, really. If I’ve a want to do something and there’s no constraints, like time or ‘can we afford it’, then I go and do it, usually. Then again, I suppose they could be bitching at me behind my back, we don’t talk much. There is a bit of a problem with leaky emotions, though – I’ll feel something incredibly strong for a second and then it’ll be gone, and it tends to happen in bursts, many times with different emotions in a short span of time, sometimes connected to past memory but..not often, and ocassionally a person or action (I think) will trigger an emotion not related. Bit of a pain in the ass keeping a blank face when it happens, usually can’t manage it and it cracks for millisecond.