What are your feelings with regard to letting others know you are DID? How do you feel about being “out” as DID, or being closeted as DID?
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
i’ve been getting more frustrated with all the work it takes to stay closeted. like, i have to make sure to keep online things separate so that people don’t find out that i’m multiple. that kind of thing. it’s hard, and i’m starting to wonder if it’s worth the work.
it’s like, what’s the worst that could happen? people might find out that i’m multiple. and… what? legally, if i get to the point where i could have a job, it’s not like they could refuse to hire me because of mental health stuff. but that’s a little of the fear, even though i know mental health stuff is covered by the ada.
and my family might find out, which is mega scary, emotionally, but rationally? the worst that could possibly happen is they’d be upset. but they’re thousands of miles away, and they really have no way of hurting me. but there’s still that fear.
but i’m really starting to think it would just be a whole lot easier and less stressful to just stop hiding. haven’t done it yet, and i think there are parts who are scared, but at the same time, i think they won’t stop being scared until we’re actually out… hard to say.
also, i think it’s better for people coping with DID/MPD if more people come out, since they won’t feel as alone or weird. i mean, if 1% of the population has it, then odds are most people know *someone* who has it, or has met or interacted with someone who does. it’s not that i think everyone should come out, because there are definitely issues, but at the same time, i think the more people who are out, the safer it is for everyone.
I have often thought of the idea of being out. In fact I was speaking to my therapist about this issue today.
The problem I worry about is how to clearly explain what being DID and me/us really feels like. Once I did try telling a friend. She happened to be a therapist herself. She answered that everyone has “parts” of themself that they always carry…like their young child, the part that still feels like a teenager when he/she hears certain music and on and on like that. Well, living with DID is not like that for me.
And then it feels like an enormous burden to try and convey who I really am.
Maybe this is my defense because I have mixed feelings about being out. I am not sure. Some days I feel stronger about asserting my true self than other times.
I go back and forth on this issue.