Push Through Fear?

Is it OK to push through difficult things that you’re afraid of?  Is it OK to override the internal voices or apprehension/fear (ie; fears associated with sex) and just do it anyway?  What happens if you do?

3 thoughts on “Push Through Fear?

  1. fragmentized

    I’m conflicted about this. I worry that when I’m “overriding” a fear that the fear is not mine and that I’m subjecting a part of me to abuse.

    My T. mentioned creating a “safe place” inside where parts can go when I want to do something that they’re uncomfortable with. Unfortunately this type of structure doesn’t really work for me. At least, I haven’t had any success in setting it up or getting parts to use it! They’re probably concerned that if they go there willingly once I’ll slap a padlock on the door and run away giggling.

  2. JigsawAnalogy-the Analyst

    We created various safe places inside before knowing we were multiple. It’s taken a while to make those into truly safe places, though, instead of just cages for uncomfortable feelings, or places to go and be isolated.

    (Collective)I’ve been working on not just pushing through fear any more. It’s hard, because on the one hand, it really is good to tune into those feelings and be aware of them. But on the other hand, if I stop doing *everything* that gives me panic attacks occasionally, that leaves me unable to do pretty much anything.

    One thing that has helped is to work on figuring out which part is anxious or panicking, and why, and getting them both to use some understandable form of communication to explain what’s going on, *and* to take care of not spreading that anxiety to everyone else.

    It’s a complicated balance, because we really don’t want to live our life fearful of everything, and tiptoeing around it, but we also need to learn to listen to each other, and respect our needs.

    One thing that has helped in my system is, if there is something we *know* we’re afraid of, to repeat over and over before we start doing it that it’s ok to stop any time, that we don’t have to finish it, or keep going, and we can just… stop if the anxiety gets too bad. Somehow, this makes it easier to do things.

  3. chariots

    Ya – it seems like a balance. Trying to blast through my fears could cause more problems or make recovery last longer. But listening to every internal scream I hear – well I would just end up paralyzed and too fearful to ever grow, or get past things.

    I think for me – I need to keep working on listening – and then responding, and helping whoever to calm down. Or making sure I feel strong(ly out) enough before I do things (like having sex). It’s all very complicated. Probably the biggest thing is getting better at cooperating and helping each other. ……. ooo that’s hard for me to say….. but at least I’m saying it 🙂

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