Talk about the problem of having only one body.
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
Talk about the problem of having only one body.
It can be frustrating. My parts like to multi-task, but there’s a limit to what you can do with only one body.
The real frustration is the “only one life” thing, I think. There are parts of me that want their own life, their own friends (that I may not necessarily approve of), their own occupation, their own time, etc. The body certainly places limits, but many of the limits are limits that *I* place, or that MY LIFE places rather than the simple limitation of “there’s only one body”.
The Experience of Being a Lesser Part
Loneliness screeches through my veins,
with the realization that I am a fragment of a person
with the emotions, needs, and desires of the whole
but without the autonomy
to be anything but a captive
lurking in the shadows,
background noise for the one that gets to live.
I have no voice
in anything that matters,
no say in even the most simple of things.
My rage, my tears, my confusion,
my happiness, my joy, my love,
fears, thoughts, dreams, terrors, passions,
the very things that make me human,
the things that make me who I am,
are experienced as flutters
of undefined emotion
and dismissed
as fluctuations of mood
as she, the host, wonders
if anti-depressants, anti-psychotics
that extra cup of coffee,
or simply an extra hour of sleep
might solve the problem
of her passing moments of minute awareness
of my soul.
That is the summary of my existence,
and you wonder why
I rage that I do not have a body of my own?
Normal people, those with only a single mind..
Even they still crave the ‘what if’ of unanswered desires,
midlife crisis, alternate life, sudden change of direction,
even though they are permitted the full taste of life,
how am I supposed to be anything but miserable
locked up here inside
with only perhaps the occasional moment
allowed out
so that talents of mine might be exploited
“for the benefit of the whole”.
we only have one body
but i think we have more minds
the mind can only relate to world
if you have a body
so our body gives each mind – a way to connect to the world
the one body houses our minds
how can there not be conflict sometimes then?
sometimes i try to talk – but it doesn’t sound like me – i sound like someone else. or it ends up that i talk through someone else. they are in charge of the body at the time – so if i try to speak too – i end up sounding like them.
I speak in a voice that is not my own,
using words that I do not believe,
to express emotions without feeling
tears that run down another’s cheeks.
There is one body,
and there are many minds
that try to direct this life
that isn’t mine
One set of feet
that want to carry me
to many destinations.
It’s hard to understand,
this experience of being a few too many,
because truthfully I feel alone.
Not having my own body just simply sucks. I want a life of my own in a body that is strong. That is all I have to say
Tig’s 18boy
i dont think it really matters if i have a body or not. i guess the good thing about it is i can check out and not have to be around much and someone keeps doing things so its not like im catatonic or anything. the only problem is if it were just me then it wouldnt be so bad if i were just gone, but i cant do that because someone else usually takes over so even though nothing gets any better they dont let me leave. and i guess the other part thats bad is they dont let it show to people how bad it is so i guess thats why no one ever seems to notice.